How to Curse in Norse

or
Hon madr roman therva Kuaran
(Your mother wears Roman soldier shoes)

by Nara no Jebu

* Editor's note: because of space, this article was shortened, especially in the listing of Nordic words. Consult the sources listed in the last issue under "Norse Names" to improve your vocabulary.

Every good Northman, barbarian or Seaman should know a good curse or three, and in his home tongue. In the Society we all tend to ignore our home tongues for the "common" we speak now, but that is one of the reasons we're Creative Anachronists not Anarchists.

It gives a feeling of periodness to spit at an opponent's feet and say gutturally "Meyla krafla mikli thur syr" or "child born of a long dead sow", and slam down your helmet. I myself have led a few melee charges yelling "Swina bqllr!" (pig penises) and pointing at the enemy.

Here are some phrases in Norse/English for your use, or you can make your own from the list at the end of this article.

"Hon varr Draconian, gamla vis Hruga uskit'r."
I am a Draconian and thou art less than a heap of s__t.
"Gamla lombungr, sugandi toti tik madr."
Thou art morons, sucking at the teat of your bitch dog mother.
"Mikill Wotan! Doni langaspjot viti!"
Praise Odin! They're downwind of us!

This one is my favorite for personal combat:

"Kringlaugd wierd, ein spadi for qvoki ne skeifr drpr munni ne svinhqfdi!"
Gaze upon thy destiny, with this sword I will cleave your lying maggot mouth from your swine head!

I hope you many Northmen can use this lesson in language, even if it is for the purpose of insults. In the saga of Eyrbygga Snarrasonar, Eyrbygga beat a warrior of consumate skill by cursing him while they fought, causing him to get angry and make mistakes. Eigil, in his saga, cursed a bersserker until he was so mad he began to chew on his shield, and with a mighty kick, Eigil drove the shield up though the berserker's skull. Grettis Asmundarsonar cursed an unknown (at the time) warrior from across a river. When they meet, the man is so impressed by his courage, he gives Grettis a long boat and later you find out he was a Hertodi, or the equivalent of a duke.

In the Middle Kingdom I witnessed a fight between two Norsemen, which lasted ten minutes and each minute had about 20 blows. From the time of the "lay on" until the bloody end they called each other everything from "drinker of sheep's piss" to "eater of Axemoor food" (honest!).

Here are some solitary words so you can put together your own memorable curses or use singly for effect.

alicarl	fat churl, fatso		bacraut	asshole
baulufotr	cow foot		beiskaldi	gripe, bitch
blatqnn	black tooth		blot	heathen
bqllr	ball, glans penis		braudnefr	breadnose
brusi	he-goat		burlufotr	clumsy foot
daufi	deaf-mute, stupid		dofni	dopey
dragi	slowpoke		fretr	fart
galti	boar (wild)		gargan	snake
gaugbrojotr	grave robber		gellir	yeller, screamer
gleidr	bowlegged		griss	piglet
haensa	chicken		halftroll	halftroll
hauknefr	hawknose		hausakljufr	skull cleaver
hladhqnd	clean hands		hqfdi	head
hrafnasueltir	raven starver (coward)		hrodi	snot
huglausi	cowardly		illskaelda	plagarizer
inoborna	unborn		istrumagi	fat gut
kamphundr	carrion eater		kerling	old hag
kuensami	skirt chaser		ledrhals	leather neck
lodinkinni	shaggy hair		lqngubak	fishbelly
matarilli	food stingy		meinfretr	stinkfart
merr	mare		meyla	little girl
miklimunnr	big, loud mouth		mjonefr	stingy, thin nose
murtr	a small fish		musa	mouse
oflati	dandy, gaudy person		ormstunga	serpent tongue
oskilgetinn	born out of wedlock		qlfuss	drunkard
rella	gripe		sipill	potlicker
skirja	young cow		skreyja	incompetent
slefja	dribbler		tik	a female dog
tunga	tongue		vifill	beetle
vitskertr	shortwit

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